I Dream of Cheesecake

1.
Ah, MY FUCKING HEAD! My head is pounding. I know I haven’t had much to drink last night, still, my brain feels like it’s being pounded on by a meat tenderizer. When I met up with my friends for dinner, catching-up and more conversation, we didn’t even had an alcoholic drink in sight. All we had is that fancy schmancy mocktail. Of course, I might have had one too many cigarettes in one sitting, surpassing my limit of four sticks a day. Seeing my friends again, I had a combination of happiness and an unbearable sadness swirling in my chest, that when I came home I plopped on my bed, took out my hidden stash of beer, dranked in the dark, watched porn Amelie, because I’m such a sad fuck.

There I was, raising my beer to an imaginary friend, flat on my back on the floor, listening to Yann Tiersen spin his magic, the music coaxing goosebumps to appear on my arms, when I suddenly thought of cheesecake.

(photo mooched from Lancewood)

It was the last thing on my mind before I fell asleep.

2.
And then I had this dream. I was in this episode of FRIENDS, and I was hogging all the damn cheesecake. Fucking cheesecake is driving me nuts. MUST HAVE CHEESECAKE!, my brain screamed at the oblivion.

(photo filched without permission from Crystal Farms)

When I woke up I have drool all over my shoulder.

3.
When I got to work today I was feeling pretty fucked up, not only because I’ve got a major hangover the size of a sumo wrestler; I can’t stop thinking about cheesecake. I can almost taste it in my mouth: that creaminess, that seemingly succulent dollop of cream, on the tip of your tongue, filling your whole mouth, wanting to be consumed, devoured.

Look at this, I mean, LOOK AT THIS:

(photo shamelessly taken from The Scent of Green Bananas: Food From a Guambat)

Tell me you don’t want to eat that. Tell me. Just tell me.

4.

(photo sheepishly stolen from BBC Good Food)

And now for the recipe (taken from the link above):

New York Cheesecake

FOR THE CRUST
85ml butter melted, plus extra for tin
140g digestive biscuits, made into fine crumbs
1 tbsp sugar, granulated or golden caster

FOR THE CHEESECAKE FILLING
3 x 300g pack full fat soft cheese (Philadelphia is good)
250g golden caster sugar
3 tbsp plain flour
1½tsp vanilla extract
finely grated zest of 1 lemon (about 2 tsp)
1½tsp lemon juice
3 large eggs, plus 1 yolk
284ml carton soured cream

FOR THE SOURED CREAM TOPPING
142ml carton soured cream
1 tbsp golden caster sugar
2 tsp lemon juice

5.
So far, the best cheesecake I’ve tasted so far is the Raspberry Cheesecake from Burgoo.

And because I am on this frenzy, I think I might have to go there in the weekend just to quell this dire need to eat cheesecake! Other places I am looking at right now:

(photo borrowed from Kurma)

Raspberry Cheesecake Brownies
Raspberry Cheesecake Shakes
Peanut Butter and Chocolate Cheesecake
Black Sesame Cottony Cheesecake
Tiramisu Cheesecake

6.
I am on the verge of bawling hysterically. Because I can’t concentrate on work (not that there’s a lot to do anyway), I busied myself with watching an episode of Will and Grace, and holy shit, Debra Messing is EATING A WHOLE CHEESECAKE ON HER OWN. With a big, solid, valid spoon smack dab in the middle of the whole thing.

And now I want my whole goddamn cheesecake too. I want to buy a whole cheesecake with my name on it. I want to be hysterical, warding off people going near my cheesecake, getting all territorial and hot shit.

(photo grabbed from Big Oven)

Oh god oh god oh god I’m coming.