Well hasn’t it been a very weird start of the year!

Signs That Things Are Weird This January:

1. Pop culture deaths that balance each other out. Or should I say, became the yin and yang of things. Brad Renfro, 90s teen idol extraordinaire, died due to drug abuse. People were like, ‘WHOZZAT?’ and went on with their lives. Heath Ledger, heartthrob-turned-serious-actor, died to accidental overdose of prescripted drugs. People were like, ‘WHATTHEFUCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!@)*%#$*WRTG@)FU_#*$%@’ and consequently, can’t go on with their lives for about a day or two. Both shocked me, actually.

It just sucks because you consider these people, in their twenties, somewhat your contemporaries in life. You gotta admit, sometimes you take a look at their own achievements and measure your own successes against theirs. What have they done in their lives? What have I done in mine? When somebody’s off taking an Oscar at twenty years old, I get to sit back and think about what I have taken when I was twenty, aside from sad pieces of advice I shouldn’t even have bothered listening to. More importantly, when somebody in their twenties dies, and you look at what they have accomplished so far, it gives you perspective as to how far you think you can go at this world you’re living in, how much left there is to do, before you up and go, and say goodbye.

2. Where as, the rest of the Britney Spears land continued to wreak havoc everywhere. I read somewhere that an obituary has already been prepared for her, just in case something happens. Am I the only one who thinks that DUI is so 2007? That the past year was synonymous with unwanted pregnancies and flashing your vagina? 2007 should be called Vagina Year.

3. Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer are both out of the Australian Open, leaving Number 3 Novak Djokovic and unseeded Number 38 Jo-Wilfred Tsonga to battle it out. Djokovic won, but Tsonga moved up to Number 28, which is kinda sweet still, if you’re Tsonga. BUT! HOW CAN THIS BE! Everybody’s been rooting for the Muhammad Ali-lookalike, but am I the only one who stifles a giggle whenever I hear his name? In Filipino, ‘tsonga’ nearly resembles the word ‘tsonggo’ which means monkey. Or maybe I am just immature. Hah. Sue me. STILLLLLLLLLL the two greatest tennis players in the world today both lost? How can anyone explain this tragedy, I don’t know.

4. Poetry poetry poetry down the drain, I have become an oddball of musings and pain.

5. My jazz blog is actually doing great, thank you.

6. Tentatively tried to communicate with people I left when I needed to disappear for awhile. Some of them missed me, some of them don’t. There’s a lesson learned there somewhere.

7. I have finished reading eight books! On a single month! And here I thought I’m so busy there’s no time for everything else. Hmm.

8. The Oscar noms are out and I haven’t even watched a single one of them! WHY! Because everything is late here, as usual. The ordinary stream of new movies was halted at the end of the year to make way for the Manila Film Festival, which was such a fucking waste of time. So now we’re still catching up with some of the films like I Am Legend (whose soundtrack was not lost on me. Talk about organic unity – Bob Marley & the Wailers’ Legend, hello?), National Treasure Book of Secrets (did I get that title right? Anyway it was a good ride. Nicolas Cage can only do films like this from now on, I don’t think he ages gracefully. Hmm.) and Sweeney Todd (god that’s good!). This tells me that I should make a trip down to the pirates’ land soon.

9. My bed is broken. I am sleeping on a broken bed. Is it a metaphor for any kind of bad luck? Someone tell me.

10. I’ve been having experiences where I can’t tell the correct time, and where I seem to be losing days! What the fuck is happening, yeah? Yesterday I slept like the dead and woke up with a monstrous headache and wondering why that is, when it’s only noon. I looked at the clock, and it said noon. When I went out of my room, I was fucking surprised to learn that it was four in the afternoon! I went back to check the clock and it said, 4PM. What the hell? And this morning, I suddenly jumped up and rushed to the bath, because I looked at the clock and it said 4PM, and fuck, I’ve been sleeping for almost twelve hours now, and when I got out people were only starting to eat lunch BECAUSE IT WAS JUST NOON. WHY WHY WHY. I swear I’m not drunk, officer.

Please tell me why why why why whyyyyyy

Why do some people I know get to travel to different places, different countries in the world and then take crappy photos? WHY? WHYYYYYYY? Why am I stuck here rotting in this city, in this country, with no chance of going anywhere in the foreseeable future, holding a good camera in my hands, taking snapshots of ugly architecture and falling victim to bad lighting and being in danger of becoming a cliche over and over and over and over while some (undeserving) people go somewhere, and make use of such opportunities to JUST camwhore? WHY? WHYYYYYYY?

DO I LOOK LIKE I’M EVEN INTERESTED TO SEE YOU POSE IN FRONT OF A MIRROR oh look I’ll pose in front of the mirror but see this is not just a mirror this is a mirror in a foreign country I am in a foreign country so here I am posing in front of the mirror instead of GOING OUTSIDE TO TAKE SOME GODDAMN GOOD PHOTOS!!! It’s just like WHEN SOME PEOPLE discuss their trip (even when no one was asking) and then they start telling stories about the CUISINE and the CULTURE and then when I ask them where they have eaten it’s always oh just the usual fastfood and FOR FUCK’S SAKE DO YOU REALLY GO TO KOREA TO EAT AT MCDONALD’S? WHY? WHYYYYYYY?

This is even worse than when I thought about why some people get to travel to other continents, bringing with them their incompetent English speaking skills and bad grammar, while I am sitting here letting my ass grow bigger by the day, trying to put up with a boring dayjob while some people get sent to some place where they need to speak up and all they can say is I CAN HAZ oh fuckit–

Also remember the time when some people get sent to some countries I dream of going and then they write to tell me all about it all the places they’ve been and I almost tear my hair out because they tell me oh I went to the Louvre and I ask and then and they say and then what and I say back and then what did you do you moron did you see the Mona Lisa did you look at the Louvre Pyramid did you get a look at Venus de Milo or even just a peek at the Egyptian artifacts and then they answer casually OH I DON’T KNOW IT WAS JUST A MUSEUM–

WHY? WHYYYYYYY?

WHY post a photo of yourself somewhere in a foreign country, with the frame out of focus, with MORE THAN HALF OF YOUR FACE covering REALLY BEAUTIFUL ARCHITECTURE or REALLY BEAUTIFUL SCENERY? WHYYYYYYYY? Nobody wants to see that assfaceshit. WHY write an entry about your wonderful trip, oh yes all of your wonderful trips and torture me with your ill-conceived sentences? BEST OF ALL WHY WRITE all these horrible horrible stuff and then send them to all the people you know including me? A monster with the size and looks of Arnold Schwarzenegger oh wait it IS Arnold Schwarzenegger and he’s worming right now in my brain and he’s taking over my usually logical rational and charming person oh wait he just shat on my left frontal lobe SO NOW I believe I am spewing out something shitty like this entryyy

The bottomline is, WHY. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYY.

Oh god fuck please help me but I just want to do this just once okay are you kidding a lot of times of course *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB*

(Don’t mind me I am just a poor old drunken fool again, let’s have a laugh at it yes HA HA HA)

Things That Surprised Me This Afternoon Because I’m a Doofus

Web. It’s all web. How to say this — that has been the first two weeks of my year. Full of cobwebby things to think about, to think through, so I’m still the perpetual girl who’s losing her mind ha-ha-ha.

I refrained from writing here because there’s nothing to say really, but it’s a free afternoon, I’m not in the office because of the flu, and it was just so nice to lounge in bed and watch tv and browse the net while I’m at it. So, while there is nothing to tell of my life, there is something to discover about pop culture. Sadly these are things I know only now, which is kinda weird and sad. I’m that out of touch.

Things That Surprised Me This Afternoon Because I’m a Doofus
1. Brad Renfro is dead!!! Remember him? He’s like our teenage sex god from the 90s. He and JTT starred in that movie, Tom and Huck. And— what? Why? He was so young. This hit me in the gut like the time when I learned Jonathan Brandis was dead. WHYYYYYYYY. The eleven year-old girl in me can’t process this.
2. River Phoenix was a close friend of Keanu Reeves (this I learned after I looked up Keanu while watching Speed just now). Joaquin Phoenix is River’s younger brother. And I never made the connection. Joaquin’s name is really Leaf. And I just watched Joaquin get creamed in Gladiator last night.
3. Keanu had a wife and daughter who died. He refuses to talk about it.
4. Rufus Wainwright, whose music I love, is gay. Wow. Works for me.
5. Johnny Depp used to partly own the club where River Phoenix died.
6. An installment of Project Runway is set to run here in Manila. But who could ever be the Filipina version of Heidi Klum? Ack. Please kill me. PLEAZZZE. They already murdered Philippines’ Next Top Model.
7. Jonathan Brandis committed suicide. I wrote about that in my entry years ago, I was in fucking mourning. Why am I suddenly so mournful of all these people? Crap.
8. And remember Devon Sawa? They say he’s on meth now.
9. Some of the characters in 28 Days Later appeared on more popular films that I actually watched, and I had no idea.
10. Does a trapper keeper still exist these days?

You know how this is proof that I should really start a 90s-themed blog?