What’s in my bag

I was about to say “This is a Flickr thing”, and then I realised — I have reached the height of my Flickr obsession, because I have finally jumped on the bandwagon and participated in this sort-of visual meme. It’s simple: dump all the contents of your bag, and take a photo. Here’s mine:

(looks better with all the notes here)

The contents of my Bob Dylan bag for 28 March 2008:
- Superman pencil case, which includes 23 Stabilo Pen 68s, a silver Parker pen, 10 old Staedtler triplus fineliner pens, 3 Stabilo exam grade pencils, a Stabilo exam grade eraser, a pencil sharpener, 4 Dong-A metallic pens and 2 Sharpies)
- my funky green Buddha for luck
- current book I’m reading: Adverbs by Daniel Handler
- Frank Sinatra bookmark
- birthday postcard from Bangladesh, sent to me by Abby who’s currently on a business trip there
- my favorite black and white photo, taken while riding a cab one afternoon, also serves as a random bookmark
- house keys with a silver key chain with my name engraved on it and a Mr. Bean key chain, too
- Jimi Hendrix (my old Pentax ME) and some spare film
- long wallet, which contains ATM cards, discount cards from my favorite bookstores, movie tickets, discount coupons, bus tickets, receipts, post-its, photos, identification cards
- yellow pad paper because I like making lists; bigger picture here
- Gustav Klimt daily planner
- moleskine! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
- polaroids
- native banig coin purse and coins
- necessities like hairbrush, lip gloss, pocket mirror, oil control film, painkiller pill and hand sanitizer
- menthol candy, gum
- perfumes (dream from GAP and clinique happy)
- Samsung mobile phone
- some fun stuff like a rainbow slinkie and friendship bracelets that I make from time to time
- glue
- my favorite wooden bangle, glow-in-the-dark bracelets, and a Spongebob jelly bracelet
- old generation iPod; I call him Lolo Frank (after Frank Sinatra ^__^)
- menthol cigarettes, matches and two lighters (I keep a spare, I always seem to lose one)

Not included in the photo but also takes residence in my bag — Jacques Cousteau, or the camera I used to take this photo with (Canon S2 IS).

I know it looks like a lot, and it is A LOT; but years of practice enabled me to practically stuff my whole life in a bag, and well, this is it. And yeah, I name a lot of my things. Makes me treat them kinder. I have a relationship with my stuff, what. Nerd love. ♥

Things I Learned When I Was 21

1. Friends disappoint. It is inevitable. And when they do, I learned that I can get disillusioned pretty well.
2. I can’t hold a grudge against someone I love, but I do get disappointed. And I think it is better for me to get mad than be disappointed.
3. I can rely on my parents. But I will never be able to please them.
4. I dream of things to buy when I don’t have a lot of money, but when I do have money, I rarely buy anything.
5. Making lists help my tiny life.
6. As I grow older, I find that I long for things in my past. Nostalgia is very romantic.
7. ATMs are lifesavers.
8. You cannot drink alcohol and not let yourself be drunk. What’s the point?
9. Friends who love you will refrain from getting drunk just so they can take good care of you.
10. I rarely talk. If I can sustain a conversation with you that would last for at least two hours (without breaks), it means that we can be very good friends.
11. I believe I am a good woman. I also believe that I am a good friend.
12. I am attached to a lot of things (junk). That’s why if a fire starts in our house, I have taken the necessary precautions of identifying things to save, in specific order. In this list, the lives of my family is not included.
13. I can be by myself and it’s okay. Alone doesn’t mean lonely.
14. I can’t always get what I want. I know when to back out and not be stupid.
15. I hold people to their word.
16. If I was born a man, I would be gay. No doubt about it.
17. The only rock music I can really listen to for a long period of time is classic rock.
18. If I am brutally honest, it must be because I love you.
19. I learn a lot more from people by observing the tiniest little things.
20. More than half of my worries are useless. But I still worry anyway.
21. I can run away from something and never look back.

1. I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.

Things that happened to me since my birthday:

1. I turned twenty-two but it wasn’t exactly a happy occasion. And to talk about it would mean I would have to think about it, and that’s too much energy spent on something useless, so let’s not.

2. I am officially jobless. I love not working but I hate not doing anything. Well I work for my father now, and this is the only advice I can give you, if you’re thinking about joining the family business: Don’t.

3. I’ve been spending more time on Flickr and enjoying it. I’ve taken on a 365 Project, meaning one photo a day, so far I’m doing good. If I don’t do this to challenge myself then I swear my brain would just fall off from its hinge.

4. My parents found out that I’ve been smoking. Actually my mother found out months before but she chose my birthday as the very special occasion to tell my father about it. Needless to say I have nothing to hide now, thank you. But can’t say I’m stoked about them finding out, on my birthday nonetheless.

5. To put my stupidity to the nth level, I kissed someone I shouldn’t have, and I know it. We both know it.

6. I am reading too many books at the same time, and writing none. There is something really wrong here. I thought I was more of a writer, not a reader, but now I don’t know where I’m supposed to stand anymore. Almost all the birthday greetings I got were wishes for me to write more, but what do I write? And who reads this shit?

7. I’ve been really, really, really frustrated. So if you think I have disappeared before, think again. I am thisclose to disappearing even to the few people who knew where I am now.

Rub the belly for good luck!

I’m twenty-two, little girl blue,
happy birthday, happy birthday
to me.

Movie Moments That Should Happen to Me in Real Life Before I Die

This list has been in my head for awhile now, and it’s nowhere near complete yet. I just have this urge to write them all tonight.

Have you ever watched a film that you connected with so strongly, you felt that it was specifically written for you, or with you in mind? Below are some scenes from movies I’ve watched that have an emotional impact on me. And since it’s free to dream, I wish that these would happen to me before I die, because that would be just perfect.

1. The Dial Tone Conversation
From the film, Adaptation., starring Nicolas Cage, Meryl Streep and Chris Cooper. Written by Charlie Kaufman and directed by Spike Jonze. In this scene, Meryl Streep is high on drugs and calls Chris Cooper on the phone. Together they recreate the dial tone and make one of the best scenes I’ve watched ever.

I’m sorry. I’m weird. I get that. But if you’re the perfect guy (and it has to be a guy) for me, if we happen to meet somehow in the future, you would totally understand. And I don’t even have to tell you, ‘Let’s do this certain scene in Adaptation.’, because you’ll know off the bat. You’ll send me drugs via mail like Chris Cooper did, and I’ll get high and giddy and I’ll call you up and we’ll do this scene and I’ll nod my head and say, ‘That’s fucking amazing.’

2. “I’ll have what she’s having.”
From the film, When Harry Met Sally, starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal, directed by Rob Reiner. This scene needs no more introduction, so here you go:

I haven’t decided yet whether I’ll ever be as bold enough to fake an orgasm in a public place, but I’ve always wanted to say, “I’ll have what she’s having,” with such flair. Hah!

3. Tiny Dancer
From the film, Almost Famous, starring Billy Crudup and Kate Hudson. Written and directed by Cameron Crowe. In this scene, the tension is high and emotions are all over the place as the band tries to keep it together. An Elton John classic comes on the radio, and everybody just almost simultaneously sang through it, letting go, just being in the moment.

I’m in the love with this scene forever and ever. I’m fortunate enough that this has happened to me a few times now, in different places, different cars, with different people. And I want it to happen again. They say everybody’s always in search of that fleeting moment, the one that grabs you for a few minutes and is then lost to you forever. This is one of those. If you have read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, there’s this excerpt of Charlie riding with Sam and Patrick in the pickup truck while The Smith’s Asleep was playing on the radio. It was then at this moment that he said, “I feel infinite,” and oh, how I knew what he meant.

4. “Baby, you are gonna miss that plane.”
From the film, Before Sunset, starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. Written and directed by Richard Linklater. Celine and Jesse are listening to Nina Simone’s Just in Time, an utterly lovely song, and just when the credits started to roll, the story is just beginning, and you know in your heart that Jesse will never leave Celine, never ever, and you just feel this warmth envelop your heart, and gosh, I’m babbling.

There was a time in my life when I wish I could have said that, you know, standing in front of the man I love. He was about to leave, but there’s nothing I can say, no. But there will be another love (I hope), another man, another one who’ll stay this time around. And I’ll wait.

5. Hello, It’s Me
From the film, The Virgin Suicides, starring Kirsten Dunst and Josh Hartnett. Written by Jeffrey Eugenides and directed by Sofia Coppola. The boys call up the Lisbon sisters on the telephone, and they speak to each other through songs.

What can I say? I’m a romantic. Apart from wanting to create that perfect dial tone, I would like a conversation to last all night with not one of us speaking, and we’ll just listen to songs all night, until the music runs out.

6. “Piano lessons?”
From the film, Big, starring Tom Hanks. Directed by Penny Marshall. Here, Josh (Hanks) is trying out the keys on a giant keyboard and ends up making a duet with his boss, playing Heart and Soul and Chopsticks.

I don’t know if I’ll ever come across a giant keyboard, but I hope to be able to play this perfectly someday.

7. “FFFUUCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!”
From the film, Little Miss Sunshine. Paul Dano’s brilliant scene when his character learned that he won’t be able to go to pilot school because he’s color blind. This is after having been in a vow of silence for a very long time:

Well I’ve actually done that a lot of times haha.

8. “Wherever God takes me.”
From the film, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. This is Harold and Kumar at their destination, finally, FINALLY getting the burger!

I really, really can’t stop laughing at this one. First, I want to be able to whip out my shades and say Doogie Howser’s “Wherever God takes me,” deadpanned. I will do this very seriously, and make one big exit. That will be such a laugh. Second, yeah, of course I want to look for that one-and-only burger!

9. Kiss
From the film, Amelie. Starring Audrey Tatou and Matthieu Kassovitz, directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Very unconventional yet sweet kissing scene

10. Singing in the rain
From the film, Singin’ In the Rain. Here’s Gene Kelly dancing and singing and making me wish I could do this too someday:

And there you have it. Do you have any scene in mind that you’d want to happen to you, too?