Please tell me why why why why whyyyyyy

Why do some people I know get to travel to different places, different countries in the world and then take crappy photos? WHY? WHYYYYYYY? Why am I stuck here rotting in this city, in this country, with no chance of going anywhere in the foreseeable future, holding a good camera in my hands, taking snapshots of ugly architecture and falling victim to bad lighting and being in danger of becoming a cliche over and over and over and over while some (undeserving) people go somewhere, and make use of such opportunities to JUST camwhore? WHY? WHYYYYYYY?

DO I LOOK LIKE I’M EVEN INTERESTED TO SEE YOU POSE IN FRONT OF A MIRROR oh look I’ll pose in front of the mirror but see this is not just a mirror this is a mirror in a foreign country I am in a foreign country so here I am posing in front of the mirror instead of GOING OUTSIDE TO TAKE SOME GODDAMN GOOD PHOTOS!!! It’s just like WHEN SOME PEOPLE discuss their trip (even when no one was asking) and then they start telling stories about the CUISINE and the CULTURE and then when I ask them where they have eaten it’s always oh just the usual fastfood and FOR FUCK’S SAKE DO YOU REALLY GO TO KOREA TO EAT AT MCDONALD’S? WHY? WHYYYYYYY?

This is even worse than when I thought about why some people get to travel to other continents, bringing with them their incompetent English speaking skills and bad grammar, while I am sitting here letting my ass grow bigger by the day, trying to put up with a boring dayjob while some people get sent to some place where they need to speak up and all they can say is I CAN HAZ oh fuckit–

Also remember the time when some people get sent to some countries I dream of going and then they write to tell me all about it all the places they’ve been and I almost tear my hair out because they tell me oh I went to the Louvre and I ask and then and they say and then what and I say back and then what did you do you moron did you see the Mona Lisa did you look at the Louvre Pyramid did you get a look at Venus de Milo or even just a peek at the Egyptian artifacts and then they answer casually OH I DON’T KNOW IT WAS JUST A MUSEUM–

WHY? WHYYYYYYY?

WHY post a photo of yourself somewhere in a foreign country, with the frame out of focus, with MORE THAN HALF OF YOUR FACE covering REALLY BEAUTIFUL ARCHITECTURE or REALLY BEAUTIFUL SCENERY? WHYYYYYYYY? Nobody wants to see that assfaceshit. WHY write an entry about your wonderful trip, oh yes all of your wonderful trips and torture me with your ill-conceived sentences? BEST OF ALL WHY WRITE all these horrible horrible stuff and then send them to all the people you know including me? A monster with the size and looks of Arnold Schwarzenegger oh wait it IS Arnold Schwarzenegger and he’s worming right now in my brain and he’s taking over my usually logical rational and charming person oh wait he just shat on my left frontal lobe SO NOW I believe I am spewing out something shitty like this entryyy

The bottomline is, WHY. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYY.

Oh god fuck please help me but I just want to do this just once okay are you kidding a lot of times of course *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB* *STAB*

(Don’t mind me I am just a poor old drunken fool again, let’s have a laugh at it yes HA HA HA)

Still drunkk at 8 PM

but what could be more terribly depressing than an abandoned old guitar

~

Terribly annoyed because my laptop is going bonkrs wandering how to manage perfect englishh wen inebriated but tpig here just to see if bitch can blog haha BTW lapop is dying his name is travis and fuck you microsofft vista fuck youu nd hafta go but thinking maybe should have an affair just to get depression over with

had nce driks last fri with friends from work and other places and felt happy but happier coz drank much with work friends so arrive quite buzzed out in other gig wasnt as fun but love seeing old faces ad huggin them and gettin hugged in turn was much spectacular ut coulda been better if calamares arrived soon and wasnt sweating and no drama involved but as always life not perfct what can you do eh

went hom with roken heart as always there will be boys that you wont get in this life so stop brooding over it yeah

smelt like cigarttes and whole lota beer so took a bath and listened to sinatra howl to the moon abou bein blue and yes was it true was blue blue blue all the wayhome and can do nothin bout it

wil be two year s in october shouldve been married but been fcked instead so here is to my stupidity and believing we could make it and had thrown your ring at your brothers face beause it shouldve been you shouldve also died n car crash but dont know why i did not probably to suffer more and thought about that tonight why didnt die but shit also unlucky with accidents so instead of dying got dislocated fucking soldier eh but you dont care

an this is proof that never really over anybody aand just good at pretending self is okay should just cut down calories and will self to stop smoking and get into other things to stop tinking about you and your wife and where the hell you are now proably making babies shouldve been mine but fuck it hope she gets fat and ugly and demanding and cuss you to death while in labor hope baby looks ugly not like you always handsome but still a fucker to anyone in their right mind

and maybe shoud just fuck your brother to shock you but shit

travis is acting up why did agree to get vista on fucking laptop and now havejust listened to canon in d for the sixteenth time and ate peanute butter mms which is delish but will probably go down to my thighs

and work tomorrow so maybe should sleep and TYPE THIS IN ALL CAPS DO NOT ERASE THIS POST COZ PROOF THAT YOU DONT MAKEKK SENSE WENT DRUNK AND think that is all bye

This is crazy; I am crazy!

Have just spent a whole afternoon googling ex’s name in le Internet. Add another half hour or two searching about his wife. Learned that she hyphenates their names together. My idea. Two whole bodies, not a single person. Independent yet happily married state; something I planned with ex before. Bastard. Fucking bastard.

And I am just drunk and this is not real, and I am listening to Horowitz since after lunch.